We have had a TON of rain lately. I love rainy days when I get to be in comfy clothes, inside, watching a movie, and being lazy. I do NOT love rainy days on a Monday morning when I have to go to work. I travel throughout the day as part of my job, and I am the dorky teacher that has multiple carts dragging behind her with all my supplies. Getting in and out all day + dragging carts behind me + RAIN= fail. I didn't even bother doing my hair today...I just went straight to the pony tail.
But I do love rainy days because it makes me feel very reflective...why is that? I think its because it makes me slow down a little and not run around in such a chaotic state of mind. You have to drive a little slower, pay closer attention to where you are walking, and the constant pitter patter just lulls your mind into a faraway place. My head is in that faraway place today.
I think this time of reflection is so neccessary for me and yet I rarely stop long enough to have it. I am to busy writing to do lists, running errands, making plans. But all of that is just busyness cluttering my head....and my heart. If I don't ever slow down enough to just stop and listen, how am I going to ever hear anything? I often find myself wondering why I don't "hear" the Lord the way other people speak of and yet the answer is right in front of me. I don't stop to listen. I ask him for things all the time, yet how am I supposed to hear his response if I dont wait for it?
In the last few weeks I have really had it revealed to me that I am my own worst enemy...I will write an entire blog post on that at another time....but I get in my own way so much when it comes to my pursuit of the Lord. I fill my days with fruitless activities and things rather than stopping to spend time in his word and in prayer. Why do I constantly fail at following Him? Because I am stubborn (and stupid) and am still trying to do it on my own each day. If it is up to me, then I will continue to fail. That is my prayer today, that I will remember that I can do NOTHING without Christ, even pursuing Him.